This episode of the Burger is brought to you by my ridiculous new toy, a balance board for my standing desk.
I may have mentioned recently that I re-organised the office to spend most of my day writing at my standing desk, because I’m a hopeless and degenerate slumper when seated.
That's going fine, thanks.
But because I am also a fickle mushhead who just doesn't know when to stop, I decided I would add the balance board into the standing desk equation. Because I read about it on a blog, or something. The eyeball harvester who wrote 1200 words extolling the virtues of this thing was adamant that their life was 10,000% better since they’d bought it.
So here I am standing on my wobble board. It's quite nice on the feet. It's a curved piece of hardwood with some soft, spongy, rubber top and bottom and little dimples everywhere to massage my delicate plates of meat. To be honest, I don't completely hate it. But I think I can probably only take about 10 to 15 minutes at a time. It makes me clinch my buttocks.
Hard.
I don’t know that I can write a whole book with my buttocks clenched.
Every time I see some new fitness gadget a memory of me grandmas fat shaker massage belt machine pops into my head. And the pulleys that hooked on a doorknob , etc. But hey I’m sure you’ll be fine
I feel like clenched buttocks will lead to bigger 'splosions, right? I know when I'm reading/watching a thing I tend to clench up when things get good/tense/splosions are imminent, so maybe writing while clenched will make the writing more gooderer? Or maybe coz you're already clenched, you'll think boring things you write are tense, and an un-clenched reader will find it dull?
reminds me of those sandals that were huge in the 80s . . . . masseuse? or masseur or something? Absolute torture devices thought up by a sadist. I might have to elgoog them to see if there are any funny 80s reminiscence blogs.
On a serious note i'd read somewhere that walking off road (like in the grass with the normal ups and downs of natural ground not on a relatively flat footpath depending on the maintenance schedule of your local council) helps stave off alzeimers or helps with brain cognition because you need the brain in constant background mode adjusting balance for the uneven ground. I wonder if this board thing has similar benefits.
I remember seeing a segment on a current affairs show all the way back in the 1970s, in which a podiatrist said exactly the same thing. The human foot and ankle did not evolve to walk on relentlessly flat surfaces, and we were much better off, throwing a little bit of roughage into our daily stroll. It’s weird the things that stay with you.
Breaking news: Butt has relaxed!
Are you on or off the board?
Now off.
somehow I didn't see 'learn about balance boards leading to butt clenching' on my to do list today butt (sic) here we are.
Every time I see some new fitness gadget a memory of me grandmas fat shaker massage belt machine pops into my head. And the pulleys that hooked on a doorknob , etc. But hey I’m sure you’ll be fine
I feel like clenched buttocks will lead to bigger 'splosions, right? I know when I'm reading/watching a thing I tend to clench up when things get good/tense/splosions are imminent, so maybe writing while clenched will make the writing more gooderer? Or maybe coz you're already clenched, you'll think boring things you write are tense, and an un-clenched reader will find it dull?
We'll know soon enough.
For science! And explosions!
reminds me of those sandals that were huge in the 80s . . . . masseuse? or masseur or something? Absolute torture devices thought up by a sadist. I might have to elgoog them to see if there are any funny 80s reminiscence blogs.
On a serious note i'd read somewhere that walking off road (like in the grass with the normal ups and downs of natural ground not on a relatively flat footpath depending on the maintenance schedule of your local council) helps stave off alzeimers or helps with brain cognition because you need the brain in constant background mode adjusting balance for the uneven ground. I wonder if this board thing has similar benefits.
I remember seeing a segment on a current affairs show all the way back in the 1970s, in which a podiatrist said exactly the same thing. The human foot and ankle did not evolve to walk on relentlessly flat surfaces, and we were much better off, throwing a little bit of roughage into our daily stroll. It’s weird the things that stay with you.
I was thinking of those as JB was describing this.
Still waiting for a real hoverboard, though...
Are you clenching because you feel you're about to fall off? Would practice help to lose this fear, and you could relax somewhat?
I don't know! The clench is automatic!
Better than the alternative, I suppose.
Lol. I hope someone that blurbs the book says "A butt-clenching thriller!"
The Dave would approve with the aforementioned buttock clenching especially doing something as girly as writing literature and prose.