I’m developing this theory that apocalypses come in two flavours. Fun, and really fucking grim. The Stand is a fun apocalypse. And Steve Stirling’s Dies the Fire. And, I would hope, my own Zero Day Code.
Not so much fun? The Road. Snowpiercer the movie. (I haven’t seen the TV series). And, reaching back for a black and white classic, On the Beach.
The Undead can be great fun; ie. Zombieland or Shaun of the Dead. Or a terrible grimdark slog, like Black Summer.
I plated up Amazon’s big budget meteor of death flick Greenland while recovering from yesterday’s snip, hoping to divert myself with some extinction-level-shenanigans… But nope.
This was, I’m afraid to report, a very well observed, very realistic, very depressing couple of hours about just how badly homo sapiens wold handle the same fate as the dinosaurs.
Gerard Butler plays an estranged dad – aren’t they all in these films – and Morena Baccarin (Deadpool’s hot girlfriend) his disappointed wife. There’s a kid too. Because in Hollywood only families fight for survival as planet-killing comets race towards Earth.
The acting was fine. The special effects pleasingly destructive. But the humanity? Oh the humanity! We sucked. Now, humanity normally sucks at the end of the world, but there’s always a plucky little band of survivors to cheer for as well. And Butler’s family are plucky. And you want them to survive.
But jeez, does the struggle have to be so… strugglesome?
Get me Bruce Willis and a rock steady crew of hard drinking oil riggers and I’ll show you how to handle a planet-killing meteor of death.
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