Apple News served up this head-bending shitfuckery in my feed this morning. An article promising ‘A Better Way to Slice Bread (Warning: It's Weird!)’ From a previously unknown site calling itself Food52.
It’s probably why I had a brain splitting migraine this afternoon.
Because no. That doesn’t look strange. That looks exactly like how you slice bread, unless you want to squash it like some sort of heavy-handed, bread-squashing monster.
The blogger, one Emily Dryden goes on to explain the many and obvious advantages of this ‘one strange way to cut bread’ — that I have been enjoying all of my bread-eating life.
Am I the strange one here? I think not.
Yes, it takes a bit more coordination and care: Rather than resting the flat, stable side against the cutting board, you'll have to hold the bread in place with the hand that isn't knife-wielding.
WHAT THE FUCK WHERE YOU DOING WITH YOUR NON KNIFEY HAND ANYWAY, EMILY!?!
Did her magical bread magically hold itself in place while she cut it completely the wrong way?
Well? Did it?
I suggest this woman and her followers should not be allowed near edged metal.
Sounds like you have your cranky pants on JB.... its just bread. I prefer to tear mine into chunks and use the base as a trencher for roast boar with a side of ocelot noses
I just use a mitre box
Perhaps Emily normally uses a two-handed grip, hacking at the bread in the manner of an inexpert headsman?
But what if you have one of those square-in-profile pan cooked loaves? Stable whichever way you rest it. Preferably white over-processed yeast bread - it suits shallow thinkers.
Tbh, I've moved to using a sharp non-serrated knife for the robust, hearty sourdoughs I'm banging out of late. I get a cleaner cut, less mess and less crush.
I'm with you JB, it's not brain surgery (unless one trepans along the side too). I admit, I learnt it after a period of being a dull-witted traditionalist. But I've not looked back.
Cutting bread is also the only reason a serrated knife exists in my kitchen.
Apple's news feed give you "one weird trick" articles from non-news sources? That's a compelling argument to continue to have nothing to do with it...
But to humour the substance of this post: I count myself among the stable-base bread cutters, mostly because I don't want to squash or tear it, but also because I like a bit of diagonal on my slices, to make them longer than they would be cut straight across.
So: what's the skinny: why is cutting bread sideways "better" than the other way?