The Tomorrow War is good, you fools.

Finally! I have an unpopular opinion. I watched The Tomorrow War and I really enjoyed it. I even thought it was less crap than reviewers, internet randos and you and your own good sense would have you believe.

It’s not a perfect movie, not even close. But it is a big dumb sci-fi action flick carried for the most part by Chris Pratt who specialises in action flicks of the big dumb sci-fi variety.

Is it his best work?


One of the better films this year?

Not even.

But worth a couple of hours of your time and the Amazon Prime subscription you’ll need to stream it, unless you decided to rent?

Not just yes, but Hell Yes with giant, squirmy carnivorous albino horror prawns on top.

The horror prawns, or albino Alien(TM) mutant foetus homunculi or whatever the fuck those things were, are the other hard-working CGI thespians carrying this effort forward. Alien invaders from the future or something, they’re suitably terrifying and hard but not impossible to kill. (Generic aliens, to be sure, not Ridley Scott and HR Geiger’s fully patented Aliens, although there’s a whole lotta homage going on here, too)

I thought the writers did a good job of delaying their onscreen debut, before turning the amp all the way to eleven.

If there is a problem with this movie its not the effects, or the acting (for the most part), or even the script (for the most part). It’s exposition. Most of the silliest, hard-to-take scenes are front-loaded into the first twenty minutes or so.

“Now, Chris Pratt, as you know, aliens have invaded the future and killed all of our best military army guys up there in our future times”

There are, it must be said, many, many assaults made on the viewer’s already wobbly suspension of disbelief before Mister Pratt decides to go on a hero’s journey.

But my friends, once he is duly sucked into our alien-ravaged future, that journey is spiffing good fun. For you. Not so much for Chris or any of his distressingly disposable co-stars.

The Tomorrow War is a movie that revels in revealing character and narrative through action. Not much character, granted. But fucking heaps of action! The quiet, emotional exchanges between Chris Pratt and Chris Pratt’s wife and daughter?

Meh. Bring me another serve of the nightmare prawns.

But the big, kick arse set pieces are well thought out, spectacularly executed, and they do actually advance the story.

And since most of the running time is given over to them, what the hell is wrong with you people?!?

I have seen a number of critical quibbles from people who do rather know better.

But this reminds me of the fellow who wrote me a long letter to complain about Weapons of Choice because the bar where I set one scene in 1942 was actually closed to members of the public in April of ’42, and I had two civilians walk into it in June of ’42, and what the hell was I gonna do about this?

I’m gonna say, dude, in the opening pages of this book an aircraft carrier battlegroup gets sucked into a wormhole and back through time to kick Adolf Hitler’s arse and you’re complaining about the door policy of the Moana Hotel.

Friends, ravenous man-eating sea food starters have invaded the future and you’re complaining about the slow progress of military procurement schedules in this fictional universe. Have you ever paid attention to the progress of military procurement in the real world?

I enjoyed The Tomorrow War. Bigly and Dumbly, as is appropriate.

I will watch it again. But I’ll probably skip that early exposition.