I found myself with ten or fifteen minutes to kill waiting on a take-away order from Siam Spicey up at Peregian Beach last weekend. A perfect opportunity to neck a cold one at this bar across the road I’d never previously had the time to visit. No wife, no kids, no dog to walk. And that dread, empty wasteland of a quarter hour to wait for my red duck curry to be done.
I was in!
I grabbed a house lager and a spot on the deck overlooking the beach and enjoyed in the way a fellow would, the quiet self regard of the lonesome drinker.
Then, about half way down the schooner, my phone buzzed.
Pick up was ready. And getting cold waiting for me.
Oh noes!
My friends, I abandoned that beer with some regrets, but it turns out I didn’t have to. Have the regrets that is.
Ahhhhh. There’s nothing quite like it, right? The frothy overflow of a just-poured draft, the first few gulps of ice-cold, hoppy ale running down your throat. Fizzy, foamy, frosty, crisp. But nothing gold can stay. You get carried away with the chip bowl, or go to the bathroom, or get caught up in telling a story and forget about your drink for a couple minutes. Your clammy hand wraps around your pint for a bit too long. It’s a little warmer and a little flatter than it was at the start. It’s not your fault that nature’s first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold. It’s another casualty of the passage of time: The quintessential thirst-quenching beverage—one that puts even blue Gatorade to shame—is now just a bunch of warm liquid.
From here on out—and we mean this—we don’t care what you do with the second half of your beer.
The first half of a beer is why we drink beer. The second half is an afterthought at best, backwash at worst. If you were to watch all the beer commercials from the beginning of time, you’d hear the words cold and refreshing over and over and over. That’s because marketing people aren’t that creative, and also because that’s what sells beer. No one drinks beer for the tepid second half.
And, although to each their own, I wouldn't let half a Fat Yak go to waste. Four-ex -- who gives a fuck? But a Fat Yak -- drain the glass; it's a fine, elegant APA.
Why didn't you just neck the last half and leave the bar with your dignity intact? There are thirsty children in Glasgow, who'd kill for that last half of your beer!!
It’s one of those unrealistic things you see in movies often, like the actors always getting a car park out the front, and they also often exit bars leaving half full drinks behind. I’m sorry, but no.
If you need a stubbie cooler you're drinking too slow! I agree with the first half being pure joy however the second half can back up that satisfaction to finish the glow!
That's why Hawkey, being smarter than most, preferred the scull
I was told in my youth that it doesn’t matter what you’re drinking the last few mouthfuls are Reschs.
Nope.
Pfft. What would you know, Zinfandel bitch?
That's PROFESSOR Zinfandel bitch, tosser.
And, although to each their own, I wouldn't let half a Fat Yak go to waste. Four-ex -- who gives a fuck? But a Fat Yak -- drain the glass; it's a fine, elegant APA.
Why didn't you just neck the last half and leave the bar with your dignity intact? There are thirsty children in Glasgow, who'd kill for that last half of your beer!!
Yeah but what have those little monsters ever done for me? Well?
Their ancestors gave you and the world, The Krankies. Case closed, John.
Surely the first one goes down fast and it's the second half of the second one you'd be abandoning. Either that or drink the bottom half first.
most definitely. sounds like your drinking that beer too slowly JB
If the second half of your beer becomes tepid you are drinking your beer to slowly!
Has this site turned into a confession box for the criminally minded?
Drink stouts, especially a complex RIS. As it warms the flavours come out and it's good to the last drop.
ha. Order in instalments of seven ounce glasses next time.
In my youth the flat, unsavory remnants of that awesome beer served as an ashtray, to serve as a vomit trap for the unwary.
It’s one of those unrealistic things you see in movies often, like the actors always getting a car park out the front, and they also often exit bars leaving half full drinks behind. I’m sorry, but no.
If you need a stubbie cooler you're drinking too slow! I agree with the first half being pure joy however the second half can back up that satisfaction to finish the glow!
The second half of sex isn't worth having either. Mm warm fluid something something. The premise is the same though.
Wasn't there a Seinfeld episode about that? Except it was muffins?
Just proves you can justify any crime if you try hard enough
Gold! By gold of course I mean golden delicious...not the apple.