15 Comments
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Formerly Known as Simon's avatar

Was hoping for a link to coffee enemas. Left disappointed. 1 out of 5

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Michael Barnes's avatar

I have read on the internet that if you replace your morning coffee or tea with green tea you can reduce up to 80% of what little joy you have left in your life.

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Johnno's avatar

I'll raise a cup of fermented beans to that.

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Dave W's avatar

I envy those people who can have a cup of coffee at 10pm and then punch out a solid 8 hours of sleep.

I'm probably hooked on a long black first thing in the morning not because I need it, and not because it tastes good, but because I'm not a savage and having a hot, caffeinated beverage in the morning is what separates us from beasts.

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Potato Shaped Man's avatar

Don't be envious. We have ADHD and that's not as much fun as tiktok makes it out to be.

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Dave W's avatar

It's an ADHD thing? For sure, then, I take it back. I had no idea.

I can't do caffeine after 10:30 if I want to sleep at my normal time at night. My affogato has to be decaf.

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insomniac's avatar

I'm one of those and I don't have ADHD. It's a tolerance thing, but then how does it work in the morning?

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Elana Mitchell's avatar

As one of those people (and who is pondering the possibility of having ADHD, since my brother and niece and nephew have it and it's starting to seem strange that I might not) I figured it works on a base level of caffeine dependency.

So while you might have an elephant sized tolerance for it that enables you to drink 6 shots of espresso and then sleep deeply for 8 hours, by the time you wake up you have a net deficiency of caffeine in your system, and therefore that early morning beverage is required to bring you to a base level of being able to function as a human being for the day 🤷‍♀️

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insomniac's avatar

I have a cup of coffee with a coffee chaser. Actually it's like the little old lady who swallowed a fly but with coffee all the way down.

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Elana Mitchell's avatar

I once went cold turkey on sugar, caffeine and carbs for some stupid diet, and while the first 24 hours was a brutal hell of withdrawal (the crushing migraine sized but not a migraine headache and the delirious exhaustion were the things I remember most).

Once I was through the adjustment I can assure everyone that the promised energy boost and clarity of thoughts did not arrive. I felt no different than when I was a sugar/caffeine/carb junkie, except, as Mr Barnes so rightly pointed out, I'd excised 80% of what little joy I had for no evident benefit. So I went back to mainlining sugar, caffeine and carbs with the added benefit of not wanting to kill everyone who breathed too loudly in my presence.

So these thieves of joy can fuck right off with their suggestions on depriving yourselves of your morning caffeine hit 😤

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Michael Barnes's avatar

From Genetic susceptibility to caffeine intake and metabolism: a systematic review J Transl Med

. 2024 Oct 22;22:961. doi: 10.1186/s12967-024-05737-z "A total of 2552 studies were screened and 26 studies involving 1,851,428 individuals were included. Several genes that were involved with caffeine metabolism such as CYP1A2, ADORA2A, AHR, POR, ABCG2, CYP2A6, PDSS2 and HECTD4 rs2074356 (A allele specific to East Asians and monomorphic in Europeans, Africans and Americans) were associated with habitual caffeine consumption with effect size difference of 3% to 32% in number of cups of caffeinated drink per day per effect allele. In addition, ALDH2 was linked to the Japanese population. Genes associated with caffeine reward included BDNF, SLC6A4, GCKR, MLXIPL and dopaminergic genes such as DRD2 and DAT1 which had around 2–5% effect size difference in number of cups of caffeinated drink for each allele per day".

Hope that clears that up.

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Potato Shaped Man's avatar

I always feel like people who recommend cutting caffeine out of your morning and secretly the saddest, angriest, most hate filled bastards in the world and are seeing to spread that hate and sadness by writing these baseless stupid fucking articles.

Anyway, I am off to work in IT, an industry that was built entirely without caffeine, as is well known.

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Jason's avatar

I have a morning coffee as a community service.

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Roger S's avatar

My blood pressure jumps from normal to too-high after coffee, so I’ve started on blood pressure meds, and most days stop at two espresso shots. It’s the dueling tensions of exploding arteries vs brain rigor mortis/zombie apocalypse. Tea, naturally, is exempt.

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w from brisbane's avatar

This is not JB, but I find it a bit funny when some very staid habits people go on about their burning need for a morning flat white as if they are Keith Richard.

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