Joe Cortisoul.

I read a lot of crazy health and fitness content so you don’t have to, and some recent crazy advice has been to avoid caffeine in the morning.

It’s a stress, you see, and it spikes the cortisol in your bloodstream too early and messes with your body’s natural biorhythms or some bullshit.

But you know what’s more stressful?

NOT HAVING A FUCKING CUP OF COFFEE OR TEA IN THE MORNING!

I’ve been having a cup of tea as soon as I wake up since I was about ten years old. From about twelve I added a coffee chaser. If I don’t perform that ritual first thing in the morning the entire platform of the world shunts sideways and tries to tip me over the edge.

That’s stressful.

It’s so fucking stressful that if I don’t get that first cup straight up, I’m not getting a damn thing done for the rest of the day.

So, based on my fifty-year longitudinal study I can advise you to ignore this current fad for decaffeinating your mornings.

It’s stressful and bad for you.