16 Comments

This is vicious slander. There is only circumstantial evidence that a doggo was involved in this caper. In fact there is strong evidence that you are at fault for having purchased the eggs and left them where unidentified assailants could access them. Teddy's lawyers will be in touch 😠

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Given its in print isn't it libel?

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Maybe if Ted can read.

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Eggactly. How does an alleged canine culprit carry a dozen eggs anywhere? Where were the eggs? So many questions...

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How was it possible that the eggs were absconded with without anyone noticing or witnessing this? With a conveniently frameable doggo in the house? #FreeTeddy

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And if the layout of the supervillain's house is to be believed, i.e. "before taking the elevator to the lair", how did Ted operate the elevator? Just watch. The tune will change and it'll be the bunnies next scoffing a carton of eggs off the floor.

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I had a similar experience the other day when I took my chocolate Labrador to a friend’s house for my reasonably regular afternoon gin and tonic. He also has a chocolate Labrador (who is much better behaved than mine). Mine tottered off and came back looking far too pleased with himself than he reasonably should, and I know my dog well enough to go and investigate. My mates’s son had unfortunately had a party the night before and had left a large amount of takeaway food on a table in a completely different part of the house. It wasn’t clear what my dog had eaten but we later found out it was three Macca’s cheeseburgers and about 40 chicken nuggets and some sauce, the squeezy containers of which we found in his poo the next morning. He was not a happy camper last night and he’s looks to my trained eye to be about the size of a beached whale. He doesn’t understand why he’s on a strict diet now. So I understand your pain John. In my experience there are Labs and there are Labs. I often say to myself, why didn’t I buy a Chihuahua..?

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your chocolate Labrador likes regular G&T how sophisticated

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Haha. He just came for the fast food.

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"I was heading to my office yesterday afternoon" which to most of us sounds like you are driving/commuting/cycling to work but as I understand it that means you were walking from the kitchen/breakfast nook to the room next to it?

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How very dare you. I was heading from the research lab through the library, stopping off only briefly to confer with the Bunnies by the second, private pool before taking the elevator to my lair.

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my humblest apologies

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at first i thought this was going to be POV post from Teddy in the vein of a noir novel. No dames or drinks involving whisky or bourbon, but definitely a set up.

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Innocent!

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Is doggo ok?

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