13 Comments
User's avatar
Naut's avatar

I stand by the dog.

Free the furry 1!

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Jason's avatar

With no proof and a defendant that the jury would be very sympathetic to, I suggest you cease slandering my new client.

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Mark's avatar

"I know what you're typing, and it hurts me. You leave me no choice . . . " <deathfart>

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coriolisdave's avatar

Jesus christ I'm going to be able to see the farts from here

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Drew Sanderson's avatar

Genuine lols from here.

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Potato Shaped Man's avatar

That dog has rich tastes.

Carton of eggs these days is like, same price as a small child.

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Steve's avatar

Do the cats have an alibi?

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Elana Mitchell's avatar

How very dare you sir! To accuse a companion animal who has done nothing but provide unconditional love, entertainment and camaraderie over the course of her life of such a heinous crime of not just theft, but EGG THEFT? And to add insult to injury, to fat shame her in the course of your unjust and hysterical accusations? Her tum tum looks perfectly svelte from this angle. Exactly WHAT are you implying?

If you are found asphyxiated in your sleep from carbon monoxide poisoning that may or may not be traced back to the noxious flatulence of an ENTIRELY INNOCENT PUPPER then no jury would convict. There is a noted attorney to felines on Twitter who I am sure would be willing to extend her work to a different species PRO BONE-O in the face of the outrageous slander and moral and mental injury you have now afforded the goodest of good girls 😾

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Dave W's avatar

You didn't miss the opportunity to say PRO BONE-O, did you?

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Elana Mitchell's avatar

Thanks to the wonders of the edit button, no I did not. Thank you for your diligence sir.

Also, the cackle I cackled when I read your comment 🤣

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Dave W's avatar

Who left the eggs in such easy reach? Was the doggo told explicitly to not eat the eggs? Did you get the dogs agreement to this in writing?

I'm thinking that this dog is actually the victim in this case and really it's you, JB, who should be on trial here. You!

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insomniac's avatar

Cool Hand Ted is innocent.

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Colin McFarland's avatar

‘Allegedly’

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