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Just replace my precious at the disposal store. 13% off too, for Friday the 13th.

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May 13, 2022Liked by John Birmingham

oh god. This reminds me when i did a trip over to the UK with the missus and i was conned to do the london eye (never a fan of those things because its just sitting in a glass cage going around in a circle once or twice and is a massive rip off). Get to the front of the line and the security gives us a once over with the detector and finds my pocket knife in my bag. A three blade job i got from my dad for when i was in cubs. Had it with me ever since. The guy starts going on about it being a lock blade and them being banned (absolute bollocks that it was a lock job of course) and as he opens one of the blades my other half bless her soul yells out "be careful! . . . . . its been cutting cheese". The sinking feeling that i was never going to see it again settled in. We got it back as we got off at the end, but security are notorious for their lack of humour. Ironically everyone who had to turf stuff out of a bag to be collected after had australian accents. That line was almost longer than the one to get on the damned ride in the first place. lol

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“You could do someone an wiv that. If it was sticky-taped to a shotgun.”

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Love the pen. Looks like a sturdy bit of hardware to keep handy if you’re in a spot. All it needs is a compass

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Lost my lovely Laguiole pocket knife/corkscrew that way. Forgot that it was in my carry-on on one leg the last time I was overseas. Went everywhere for years with it, and miss it much: it had been a souvenir from my first trip to Paris. Waved goodbye to it through the glass-sided bin, half full of other people's pocket knives, that they had at the end of the security check just to rub it in, I suspect.

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Those bastards.

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A steel pen? Sounds like the sort of thing you need for hardcore writing, like for splosions.

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I fly with a motorcycle crash helmet as hand luggage regularly. I could take on a battalion of cairns bound pensioners with that

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We've covered this, I think I get Most and Best "weapons" through airport security

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Enjoy your time down here in Melbourne! Also I feel the loss of that swiss army knife, I've been through that before its a massive bummer!

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Can i suggest Umberto's in https://www.umberto.com.au/ in Thornbury for the pasta. My fave Italian place.

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It has a ‘discoteca grande’!

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Lost my beloved fountain pen about a week ago. It's probably in the house somewhere, but there's also a toddler in this house, so I don't rate my chances of finding it very highly.

I flew for the first time since the rona a week ago, definitely didn't take my pen.

If anyone sees it, please let me know.

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I feel this loss.

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Sweet pen. I needs.

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My training partner, Mike, got it for me when we passed out probationary black belt gradings for jujitsu. I carry it everywhere. Would have been a problem if they’d wanted to take it off me.

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There's got to be a side hustle for a business pre-security at an airport- charge some extortionate amount for posting items that people can't take through but don't want to surrender. "Sure, Mr Birmingham, we'll send that swiss army knife to you, that'll be $100. Yep, postage would be $15, if you can find an Auspost somewhere nearby and still catch your plane. Or you can chuck it in the bin and replace it for $150, if you want..."

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