6 Comments

"This is going to sound crazy, but a sad clown found my box of human teeth." Who else BUT a sad clown would find that? Too plausible. "I know you're going to hate me, but my Tinder date gave me syphilis." Now, that is outlandish. First prize!

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As someone who reluctantly agrees to social interactions and then spends the entire time leading up to said social interactions desperately hoping for

a. Cancelation and or

b. An excuse not to attend

I greatly appreciate this tool.

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Well certainly a Tinder date finding your box of human teeth would be disastrous . And weirdly funny .

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The Pope doesn't appear to be as nice as I had hoped...

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if the "died in front of me" came last on the list i'd be tempted to say the pope did all of those things in order and that's why i wasnt at the thing.

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Goes without saying for the next Burger get together if i can't make it I'll have a good excuse.

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