29 Comments
Jul 14, 2022Liked by John Birmingham

Can confirm on #30. I call it "weaponised kindness". The ruder or more difficult people are, the more polite and helpful I become and it absolutely does their heads in. It is absolutely thrilling.

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Only middle-aged men know how to stack dishwashers.

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I could always tell when my mum really despised someone, so very fucking polite and friendly, it is indeed the gift that keeps on giving

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The dishwasher is also on my sacrosanct list. It is no place for anarchy. I have risked life and limb repacking that thing (admittedly i should wait till after a particular person has left the area). My argument is that all those years playing tetris has proven a direct correlation to how much i can put in there and how much cleaner it comes out. I should probably get that put on my tombstone because i'm going to need it in the very near future.

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Tempted to throw down something acerbic to get a Mister Fucking Congeniality reply...

Your penmanship is atrocious. You dress in the manner of a male prostitute.

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"There is nothing weird about following the correct dishwasher stacking protocol." - so much background evoked in that single phrase

Reminds me of a Calivin and Hobbs comic

Calvin asks father "What's a control freak"?

Calvin's Dad "That's what lazy slipshod people call someone who wants to make sure the job is done right"

Calvin "Am I in the presence of their King, should I kneel"?

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I found a better way than grumbling or passive/aggressive sighing re dishwasher usage. A lovely comedic turn regarding kitchen etiquette had my lovely (and oh so nearly perfect) husband placing things ever so carefully into the dishwasher and I didn't have to say a thing

https://youtu.be/uCApQ2MwhYo

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#8 is an abomination, never leave a voice message when a text is an option. Nobody in their right mind thinks a voicemail is a nice little podcast.

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# 29 Doesn’t work for me. I come from cattle country and my family all still ranches here. I’m a confirmed carnivore. Beef Deer Elk ,,, occasional salmon....veggies too but I cant quit meat. Grills weren’t made for asparagus .

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