29 Comments

Can confirm on #30. I call it "weaponised kindness". The ruder or more difficult people are, the more polite and helpful I become and it absolutely does their heads in. It is absolutely thrilling.

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Proverbs 25:22, Romans 12:20. Maybe those guys were onto something.

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Only middle-aged men know how to stack dishwashers.

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I could always tell when my mum really despised someone, so very fucking polite and friendly, it is indeed the gift that keeps on giving

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The dishwasher is also on my sacrosanct list. It is no place for anarchy. I have risked life and limb repacking that thing (admittedly i should wait till after a particular person has left the area). My argument is that all those years playing tetris has proven a direct correlation to how much i can put in there and how much cleaner it comes out. I should probably get that put on my tombstone because i'm going to need it in the very near future.

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The hours I have seen. Potato mashers jammed down through the shelving tray, blocking the spinner arms. Items placed INSIDE other, bigger items, where they have zero hope of contact with any water. And dont get me started on the glasses and cups placed with their mouths facing up, to catch the water with no way of allowing it to escape.

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if you do #51 make sure the address as the sender is one of your enemies (those shameless shills in government put any correspondence on a mailing list faster than you can say "i'm putting this in the fire")

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I have a dishwashing question regarding cutlery. Would you put like items together into one of the cutlery basket partitions, or would you add like items so that they are spread out evenly among all the partitions, or just throw things in randomly?

I have this idea that if you put like items together they “spoon” and as such some surfaces don’t get washed properly.

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They do indeed. And spooning is bad.

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ha - i specifically sourced my dishwasher as it has a thin cutlery drawer at the top with grooves that help keep things separate. To maximise space efficiency spoons go with spoons and knives with knives because the back of a spoon is likely to be lying against a knife. But in the old days i would spread them across the cutlery bins so that spooning would be less likely to occur. Everyone in my house is also under strict instructions to only purchase dishwasher safe items so that hand washing is minimised - no way is the cast iron pan i use going in the dishwasher.

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Same.

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Just remember the real knives are hand washed never left to the machine

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Well, exactly.

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Don't get me started on cast iron pan abuse

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((shudders))

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My ex-missus fucked two really good iron knives by putting them in the fucking dishwasher.

I no longer own one. If you live by yourself, they're worse than useless.

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Wives, knives or dishwashers?

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Dishwasher. I also no longer have that particular wife, but not because of the knives.

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My apologies your comment wasn't up when I posted, but I believe you've proven my point.

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Tempted to throw down something acerbic to get a Mister Fucking Congeniality reply...

Your penmanship is atrocious. You dress in the manner of a male prostitute.

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Why thank you, Michael. You seem ever so friendly and not at all a cunt.

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Made my freakin' day.

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"There is nothing weird about following the correct dishwasher stacking protocol." - so much background evoked in that single phrase

Reminds me of a Calivin and Hobbs comic

Calvin asks father "What's a control freak"?

Calvin's Dad "That's what lazy slipshod people call someone who wants to make sure the job is done right"

Calvin "Am I in the presence of their King, should I kneel"?

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I found a better way than grumbling or passive/aggressive sighing re dishwasher usage. A lovely comedic turn regarding kitchen etiquette had my lovely (and oh so nearly perfect) husband placing things ever so carefully into the dishwasher and I didn't have to say a thing

https://youtu.be/uCApQ2MwhYo

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#8 is an abomination, never leave a voice message when a text is an option. Nobody in their right mind thinks a voicemail is a nice little podcast.

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Agreed. The resentment of being forced to listen to a voicemail when a text would have sufficed knows no bounds.

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# 29 Doesn’t work for me. I come from cattle country and my family all still ranches here. I’m a confirmed carnivore. Beef Deer Elk ,,, occasional salmon....veggies too but I cant quit meat. Grills weren’t made for asparagus .

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Hard agree. I'm on a high protein nutrition plan for the next 6 months and you don't meet your macros eating lentils.

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This is a list of ways in which to IMPROVE your life... #29 should be struck from the record for not meeting that criteria. Yes I know it's better for the environment to give up meat but...

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