19 Comments
Aug 8Liked by John Birmingham

The first time i had to use a QR code at a restaurant it was at one of those horrible franchise ones that are mexican themed that come with a throw away microplastic hat, next door to a german themed one that i'm assuming come with a throwaway microplastic lederhosen (yes up in Brisvegas). My first thought was "jeez imagine the grumbling my parents would make about this, they'd never figure it out" and of course since then it has filtered to all the restaurants and its everywhere now.

The maccas screens are a horrible experience. The last time we were in there the old lady cleaning helped us out because we got stuck in some rabbit warren menu that had "world destruction options". (she kindly stopped us from selecting 100ft tidal wave with an extra side of survivor enslaving horror from the deeps, and guided us back to the almond milk options for the decaf coffee)

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ROFL. I think I know the terrible Mexican theme restaurant of which you speak

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I have one of those hats. One of the perils of holidaying with your adult children. They leave you with the grandchildren, go out and have fun, and bring you a hat.

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Aug 9Liked by John Birmingham

In the last 20 or so years, I've only crossed this line to get caffeine when I am on the road and real coffee places have filled their machines with ammonia or are just plain shut. I avoid the screens and walk straight up to the pimply ones and order in person. They haven't refused me so far.

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I was writing a SF story at some stage that had a "modern" equivalent of the ol' Automat, but with a PKD twist...

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As an annoyingly fussy person with food, the advent of the Maccas screens was kind of a godsend for me in that I was free to be a total fusspot and remove all the pickles and crap from my burger that I hate without judgement but also with 100% accuracy.

I've spent decades patiently explaining to the minimum wage kids behind the counter that I want to remove XYZ from my cheeseburger with wildly varying results over the years. Self checkout has only confirmed for me if you want something done right (eg, get my order correct) I have to do it myself.

On this note am I the only person who prefers the self checkout options in supermarkets over the checkouts manned by minimum wage teenagers because I can pack everything myself the way I like it? To the point where I'm infuriated when the minimum wage teenager supervising the self service checkouts comes over to be helpful with inputting my eleventy billion cans of cat food? (No, minimum wage teenager, I am quite prepared to scan every one of those cans individually if it means I don't have to interact with a human being. It's why I chose the self service checkout to begin with).

Ummm.. Get off my lawn as well?

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Good to know there are other people out there like me. I don't generally go through the self serve (andI steal stuff if Ido) but I always pack my own groceries. Frozena dn dairy together, cleaning in a sperate bag etc. It's as nature intended.

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And what about when you group like items on the conveyor so they all go in the same bag, but no, they pick and choose and fuck up the system.

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Right? I was one of those minimum wage teenagers in my misspent youth so I learned how to pack groceries properly dammit. Kids these days etc...

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Can I have your pickles? Please 🙏

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You can have ALL my pickles for eternity!

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I think you & I could be good friends 🤩

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YAS QUEEN 👊

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I will have to take your word for this McDonald's experience I have sen those screens from the outside but haven't been in an got food from one in years. Not since the spate of birthday parties from The_weapon_against_society's younger years in primary school. My mistake I did go to a McDonalds in Chengdu many years ago because they sold cold soft drinks but that was in the before times.

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We generally only do Maccas while driving to Melbourne. I have two gripes. One is those touch screens are always out of paper, so while you’re looking down at the receipt hole, the number of your order flashes on the screen for two microseconds, and as such you have no receipt and no order number, leaving you to guess it’s your turn by the combination of drinks you ordered.

Two is that everything is made on the spot, so some loosely stacked burger is hurtled down the bench and hits the stoppy bit and immediately dissembles. I miss the days where burgers where made in advance and slowly congealed under heat lamps. I suppose that only worked when you had four different burgers, not the multitudes of today.

</rant>

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Yes. Finding a screen that still has receipt paper is the biggest irk. And the fact that there are no screens identifying what orders are ready to be collected.

For did and giggles, go to the Macca's in the Queen Street mall on a Friday night.

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To be fair, for the (recognising my own snobbery) "lower end" of the market, it's not about the human experience. Move beyond that, to a sit down restaurant at a minimum, and an online menu should only feature in quirky Asian/Bladerunner places.

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I'm lucky enough to live in an area where real people (often a bit quirky) serve real coffee and food normally with a soundtrack from an obscure heavy metal band. They usually know my name and my coffee order. This is the way.

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Swings and roundabouts I guess.

For everyone people person decrying having no human interaction at the checkout etc, is an introvert happily enjoying a small-talk-free experience.

For every uber-Karen(or Kevin) bemoaning the loss of servitude to their whims is a low level customer service person glad they don’t have to deal with their shit.

The difference is diversity.

For example, over decades ago in Japan I could either get automated, precise, service from a chain ramen outlet or walk down the street to the mom-n-pop hole in the wall and hope for the best.

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