16 Comments
Sep 5, 2021Liked by John Birmingham

I too received the accursed message. I was in the car. I got Siri to say get fucked on my behalf, and she really does say it because she reads back what I wanted to say.

Expand full comment
Sep 5, 2021Liked by John Birmingham

The cunt sullied my phone yesterday. I carefully wiped it down.

Expand full comment

This mouth breather sent one of his text's to my daughter. How to I get him charged for grooming a minor under child sex offence laws. He's sending unsolicited messages to a child. I know my response seems over the top, but this maggot sends messages to my kids, it personal.

Expand full comment

Honestly, he needn't bother roboshilling for my 5th preference. He already gets it, since his tangerine-headed ideological fuckbuddy from Ipswich is always a lock for #6 and out.

Joke's on you, muthafukka!

Expand full comment

Yes, the line is close. I have an offer. I am a little old lady with chronic health issues, but I was taught how to punch a foot past where I'm aiming. You hold him, I'll hit him.

Expand full comment

Technology is amazing. By accident I discovered that I had received his text too, but the messaging app on my Android (Pixel) had identified it as spam and filed it, unread and un-notified in a "spam" folder. I'm glad that text messages are getting spam-filtered, like e-mail, but I'm slightly concerned about the implications: I didn't think that SMS travelled via cloud, so either the filtering is happening on my phone, most likely, or being bounced to a cloud.

Anyway: the spam filtering worked: I still haven't actually read the message.

Expand full comment

On the bright side, if you look at his social media numbers, you can determine the exact number of dickheads in the country. Which was not a category on the census.

Expand full comment

how can anyone vote for this odious ignorant bigot?

Expand full comment

A friend of mine has been doing a deep dive into the venn diagram of anti vaxxers and Craig Kelly supporters and it's truly terrifying the large number of people who support him. Our rational, science believing "lefty" beliefs are not as dominant as our Twitter echo chambers would have us believe...

Expand full comment
author

There’s a great line in Martin Amis’ autobiography reminding the reader that the number of people they don’t know is far, far greater than those they do. I try to remember that at election time.

Expand full comment

Has anyone texted the number that was floating around that was supposed to be his or Clive's personal number?

Expand full comment
author

No, but I would be interested.

Expand full comment

Crikey has a useful guide on spamming Kelly right back:

https://www.crikey.com.au/2021/08/31/hacking-kelly-how-to-let-craig-kelly-spammer-know-how-you-feel/

Expand full comment

Bernard Keane's review of the pro-Kelly blow-back that they received for that was hilarious (as was some of the quoted comments). The word "poltroon" was used.

Expand full comment

He was SO PROUD of “poltroon” too, it was awesome 😂

Expand full comment

apparently it's 0458 150 211

Expand full comment