I had two pieces of hot buttered toast with honey this morning. It was a luxurious treat. I’ve been leaning into the protein for the last couple of months trying to get rid of the last 5kg of tummy fat, but I’ve got a body scan tomorrow, and one indulgence now wasn’t going to change a thing.
My God, it was good. When you don’t have something for ages, even something as simple as hot buttered toast with honey, it can go off like a pleasure bomb when you finally get some.
It did make me wonder, as I was standing there, buttering my golden toasty white bread, when toast became a thing.
I asked Alexa, and she told me the band was formed in 2010.
Apparently, the Egyptians invented it as a way to keep fresh bread around a bit longer.
The closed oven was invented in Egypt for the baking of leavened breads by 3000 B.C., and the workers who built the famous pyramids were often paid partially with bread. (Yes, contrary to popular belief, it is no longer thought that the pyramids of Giza were built by slaves. Archeological evidence shows that the worker’s town comprised of whole families, not just men as would have been the case if they were slaves. Further, the people were well taken care of including the highest quality health care available at the time and they were also extremely well fed. These and other such hints from the past, relatively recently discovered, seem to indicate that the laborers were there of their own volition.)
At this point in history, leavened bread was a lighter bread that was considered much nicer than flat breads. There was just one problem: left out in the desert heat for long periods of time, it would go hard and became difficult to eat.
The solution? Toast. It’s likely that toast originated as a way to preserve bread rather than as a tasty breakfast item smothered in butter and jam. By scorching slices of bread, they lasted longer as a palatable food. (This is also why “French” Toast first began being made– it’s all about not wasting food.)
The practice of toasting bread became popular in the Roman Empire. The word “toast” actually comes from the Latin “tostum,” which means “to burn or scorch.” The first breads were likely toasted by laying them in front of the fire on a hot stone.
The first electric toaster was invented in 1893, but the wires kept melting. The first recognisably modern toaster popped up (see what I did there?) in 1919.
This tasty blog post was brought to you by my Friday deadline.
Reminds of this quote from about the Federation in Star Trek:
"There must be like twenty different counselling groups for non-human engineering students at StarFleet Academy, and every week in every single one of them someone walks in and starts up with a story like "our assignment was to repair a phaser emitter and one of my human classmates built a chronometric flux toaster that toasts bread after you have eaten it"
There is one thing better, and that's to bake the bread oneself. Then you can even skip the toasting as whatever deliciousness scale you used just became obsolete.
Don't they have some sort of techno laser toaster that will toast whatever GIF you send it from your phone (via some sort of cloudy panopticon of course)? If you sent it a picture of pure brown, perhaps it would do that for you.
Tomorrow they'll have a version with ChatGPT in it, to explain why your preferred toast picture is wrong.
An visiting American colleague confided to me the other day that no one uses "single use" toasters any more. Now they use "air fryers" for everything, and it does everything equally poorly...
The Egyptians inventing toast amazes and yet also doesn't surprise me, considering their innovations around bread in general. Did you know that they would apply mouldy bread to wounds to facilitate healing? Thousands of years before the discovery of penicillin.
Yeah but they also used fat of a crocodile, hippo, snake and tomcat as a cure for baldness so swings and roundabouts (still better than anything Gwenth Paltrow is selling on goop.)
And do we have proof this did not work. All those dudes in the hieroglyphics looked to have a pretty good head of hair. And do you know where i might find a podgy hippo locally, asking for a friend.
My two favourite breakfasts are vegemite toast and boiled egg with toast soldiers. Possibly one of the reasons (along with red wine) why I can can't even make inroads into the first 5kg.
I'd never order in a cafe what I can easily make myself. Cafes are for treats like eggs benny. That said, I overcooked the egg this morning. Still good comfort food.
Reminds of this quote from about the Federation in Star Trek:
"There must be like twenty different counselling groups for non-human engineering students at StarFleet Academy, and every week in every single one of them someone walks in and starts up with a story like "our assignment was to repair a phaser emitter and one of my human classmates built a chronometric flux toaster that toasts bread after you have eaten it"
https://www.tor.com/2016/10/17/the-answer-to-why-humans-are-so-central-in-star-trek/
one of my favourite head cannons "team fuck it hold my beer I got this"
There is one thing better, and that's to bake the bread oneself. Then you can even skip the toasting as whatever deliciousness scale you used just became obsolete.
I’m just waiting for someone to invent a toaster that browns bread evenly on both sides and produces the same toast colour cycle after cycle.
Sounds like a job for AI
Don't they have some sort of techno laser toaster that will toast whatever GIF you send it from your phone (via some sort of cloudy panopticon of course)? If you sent it a picture of pure brown, perhaps it would do that for you.
Tomorrow they'll have a version with ChatGPT in it, to explain why your preferred toast picture is wrong.
An visiting American colleague confided to me the other day that no one uses "single use" toasters any more. Now they use "air fryers" for everything, and it does everything equally poorly...
mmmm Never thought of using the air fryer for toast, have to give it a try.
SORCERY!
and the more expensive the toaster, the worse it is...
The Egyptians inventing toast amazes and yet also doesn't surprise me, considering their innovations around bread in general. Did you know that they would apply mouldy bread to wounds to facilitate healing? Thousands of years before the discovery of penicillin.
Yeah but they also used fat of a crocodile, hippo, snake and tomcat as a cure for baldness so swings and roundabouts (still better than anything Gwenth Paltrow is selling on goop.)
And do we have proof this did not work. All those dudes in the hieroglyphics looked to have a pretty good head of hair. And do you know where i might find a podgy hippo locally, asking for a friend.
Get Ashley & Martin on the phone stat!
My two favourite breakfasts are vegemite toast and boiled egg with toast soldiers. Possibly one of the reasons (along with red wine) why I can can't even make inroads into the first 5kg.
There was an impossibly hip cafe in 90s Sydney. Doc, I think. Their speciality was boiled eggs and toast soldiers.
I'd never order in a cafe what I can easily make myself. Cafes are for treats like eggs benny. That said, I overcooked the egg this morning. Still good comfort food.
Well I'm off to make toast with marmalade for afternoon tea.
#Winning
You can't get me with these subliminal toast posts. I have already had my toasted sanger spag bog with cheese leftovers lunch and feel satiated.
Although i may breakfast tomorrow by reviving the old sourdough getting to the end of its useful life and slather it with butter and peanut butter.
Sourdough is the bomb. It NEVER gets stale.
One of my favouite theories is SARS_CoV_2 was created by sourdough so as to increases its replication.
Starts stale
Mmmmmmm toasssst