There may have been a pizza episode.

He’s thinking of eating the chair.

This is a picture of a dog who has just stolen and consumed one whole cheese and pepperoni pizza and two slices of another, entirely separate, cheese and pepperoni pizza. He is waiting for a veterinary professional to make him vomit up the evidence.

This was what I did yesterday, for about 5 hours.

One of the last things Jane said to me before she headed out to work was “Do you think you’ll need the car today?”

And like a fool I said, “No, I don’t think so.”

End of scene, slam cut to JB standing on his front deck where the Uber delivery driver has left two pizzas, two sticks of garlic bread and some sort of fizzy drink for a young lout who was too engrossed in his Xbox game to get his arse off the bed and out to the deck to pick up his order.

What is a hungry Labrador to do?

Or, for that matter, a Labrador who couldn’t possibly have been hungry because he had only just eaten a bowl of leftover lamb scraps?

I think we all know the answer to that.

One frantic search for a car and $300 later and my friend with the immoderate appetite had been sorted out.

The lout, naturally, insists it was nothing to do with him.