This is a picture of a dog who has just stolen and consumed one whole cheese and pepperoni pizza and two slices of another, entirely separate, cheese and pepperoni pizza. He is waiting for a veterinary professional to make him vomit up the evidence.
This was what I did yesterday, for about 5 hours.
One of the last things Jane said to me before she headed out to work was “Do you think you’ll need the car today?”
And like a fool I said, “No, I don’t think so.”
End of scene, slam cut to JB standing on his front deck where the Uber delivery driver has left two pizzas, two sticks of garlic bread and some sort of fizzy drink for a young lout who was too engrossed in his Xbox game to get his arse off the bed and out to the deck to pick up his order.
What is a hungry Labrador to do?
Or, for that matter, a Labrador who couldn’t possibly have been hungry because he had only just eaten a bowl of leftover lamb scraps?
I think we all know the answer to that.
One frantic search for a car and $300 later and my friend with the immoderate appetite had been sorted out.
The lout, naturally, insists it was nothing to do with him.
Oh, and at least the pizzas from that restaurant can be said to have been tested in a lab
I'll get me coat and leave now.
i can just see the brain processes on hungry lab "they won't notice a slice or two gone would they? Oh god that was soooo good. I'll just have another two. Oh damn that's obvious now isn't it? I should finish the whole thing and pretend that guy just dropped off one pizza. But that one pizza left smells amazing, it's just sitting there . . . . . . . they won't notice two slices gone from that one would they? . . . . . . "
Ahhh labradors ... my Mother in law used to say "labradors will eat anything, like sugar coated turds. And you probably don't even need the sugar "
I think we can agree
he's a good boy, like all dogs.
Is this possibly an elaborate ruse to cover up the deeds of one hungry author?
Judging by that photo he ate the boxes as well??
Poor pupper, despite all evidence to the contrary he has clearly never been fed IN HIS WHOLE LIFE OF HARDSHIP AND ENDLESS MISERY.
This would make an excellent chapter in the sequel to Felafel in which middle aged JB documents the share house arrangement hell of living with his own adult child/children. You could crowdsource anecdotes from other middle aged parents about their children and how this is all the fault of the landlord Boomer generation and the distortion of the Australian property market.
So according to the young XBox master the dog ordered the pizza delivery. Smart dog.
This whole episode sounds like entrapment to me.
Free the dog!
I read this, cackling like a madman. Pizza, a Labrador and a young lout.
Has sitcom written all over it!