"I forget that I don’t know how to cook the damn things' there are these things called 'recipes' you know. Some even come without five page travelogue about how it brings back memories of the cooks youth in Tuscany, or Alaska with pancakes its probably Alaska. I blame Proust for the endless remembrance of foods past that seems to clutter every recipe you read, you know where I'd shove his madeleine cake?
That wading-through-the-author's-story thing is apparently a new aspect of the eternal war of SEO (Search Engine Optimization) vs Google. It is now "widely understood" that google down-rates plain-old recipes for insufficient "originality" (as if that was ever important to a recipe, especially one for pancakes). So to get _their_ recipe_ back up to the top of the list, it's been found that prepending a long and pointless piece of culinary life story will do the job.
Of course, there is now also an app that will scrape all of that stuff off and just give you the recipe. Sorry, I can't remember where that was, now. Not hard to find some by searching, and there's this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20256764
you can add this in front of the url (https://cooked.wiki/) but by the time it is added you probably could have scrolled (most recipes put in a jump to recipe link as well but ive been finding increasingly it is either hard to find or not there or doesnt work)
Ok so I have this one weird trick that has solved the pancake dilemma for me.
I have a best friend who not only makes them for me, but does so effortlessly, because she's a BAMF in the kitchen.
Her washing machine died today, so guess who's getting a pancake breakfast tomorrow in exchange for letting her bring all her washing to my place and borrowing my machine? #Winning 🥳😇
Did you feed an AI instructions "pancake disaster" to get that picture? Is it a case of If at first you don't succeed, just fuck up some more? Why did you use every pan that you own? Why do you keep carkeys in a pot directly next to the stove?
I don't understand how you can mess up pancakes (other than by burning them by not keeping an eye on them), but then I've never tried to cook them on such weird-looking frying pans, or one of those new-fangled glass stove tops. Perhaps it's the sharp corners?
So reporting back from another successful outsourcing of pancake manufacture to my BFF, I made enquiries as to how the 'experts' make pancakes.
JB, since you've not specified if the failure of your pancakes lies in the recipe or equipment I enquired as to both:
Recipe. Taryn cooks pancakes in bulk to have leftovers because she has a 19 year old son and an Army husband, but it's designed to be scaled up or down as required:
3 x cups self raising flour
3 x tablespoons sugar
approx 75g of melted butter
3 x cups of milk (this is a estimate. She eyeballs the milk and adds until the batter's consistency meets her requirements for fluffy American style pancakes. If you want thinner crepe style pancakes add more milk).
Equipment:
Apparently what you need is one of these bad boys:
The flat plate is ideal for cooking multiple pancakes at a time, and then you can flip it over to the ribbed side to do your bacon and other bits to go with your pancakes. Apparently a game changer in the BFF household pancake manufacture process.
I have photographic evidence to back all this up 🤷♀️
HUH! It wasn't until you mentioned eggs that I realised I'd not discussed them with Taryn. I have since re-confirmed and this recipe requires 2 eggs for the bigger batch. She also mentioned the sugar was optional.
She's one of those Jamie Oliver style cooks who just guesses or eyeballs things and says useful stuff like "take it out of the oven when it looks done". Which she said to me when I was learning her brownie recipe, and prompted an angst filled "HOW DO I KNOW WHEN IT LOOKS DONE???" from me and a blank look from her. I've since refined the brownie recipe to have actual baking times and measurements 🙄
I was taught pancakes on "pancake Sundays" at the share house, by Mr Flinthart, lo those many years ago (so that he no longer had to). Important to be able to scale the quantity to suit the need. Consequently, my recipe is a (little) bit more complicated:
One egg per punter
Exactly the same volume of milk (guessed by eye)
Flour (self raising, or the equivalent of plain and baking powder)
The flour is added backwards (dry to wet) and whisked gently to mix it in, and more added until the consistency is correct: thick cream. Add milk if you go too far/stiff. You get extra points for using fancy flour, like buckwheat: it's delicious.
Sometimes it can be nice to add either or both of a bit of vanilla and/or sugar to the wet, but sugar increases the risk of burning. After all: you're going to be adding bacon and maple syrup, right? Cook in butter, not too hot. Flip when the bubbles open.
The consistency determines the thickness in the pan, which determines thickness of the result. The pancake pour shouldn't fill the base of the pan to the edges, it should stop expanding of its own accord as it starts cooking.
I imagine that others will consider elements of that blasphemy or anathema, but such is the world of recipes.
"I forget that I don’t know how to cook the damn things' there are these things called 'recipes' you know. Some even come without five page travelogue about how it brings back memories of the cooks youth in Tuscany, or Alaska with pancakes its probably Alaska. I blame Proust for the endless remembrance of foods past that seems to clutter every recipe you read, you know where I'd shove his madeleine cake?
That wading-through-the-author's-story thing is apparently a new aspect of the eternal war of SEO (Search Engine Optimization) vs Google. It is now "widely understood" that google down-rates plain-old recipes for insufficient "originality" (as if that was ever important to a recipe, especially one for pancakes). So to get _their_ recipe_ back up to the top of the list, it's been found that prepending a long and pointless piece of culinary life story will do the job.
Of course, there is now also an app that will scrape all of that stuff off and just give you the recipe. Sorry, I can't remember where that was, now. Not hard to find some by searching, and there's this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20256764
you can add this in front of the url (https://cooked.wiki/) but by the time it is added you probably could have scrolled (most recipes put in a jump to recipe link as well but ive been finding increasingly it is either hard to find or not there or doesnt work)
I didn't realize until you mentioned the SEO but that makes does explain why people kept doing that when so many people said it annoyed them.
Ok so I have this one weird trick that has solved the pancake dilemma for me.
I have a best friend who not only makes them for me, but does so effortlessly, because she's a BAMF in the kitchen.
Her washing machine died today, so guess who's getting a pancake breakfast tomorrow in exchange for letting her bring all her washing to my place and borrowing my machine? #Winning 🥳😇
#goddamnit
You break her washing machine to get pancakes.
Genius.
Work smarter not harder 😇
Did you feed an AI instructions "pancake disaster" to get that picture? Is it a case of If at first you don't succeed, just fuck up some more? Why did you use every pan that you own? Why do you keep carkeys in a pot directly next to the stove?
I have so many questions.
I don't understand how you can mess up pancakes (other than by burning them by not keeping an eye on them), but then I've never tried to cook them on such weird-looking frying pans, or one of those new-fangled glass stove tops. Perhaps it's the sharp corners?
I am permanently banned from pancake manufacture.
So reporting back from another successful outsourcing of pancake manufacture to my BFF, I made enquiries as to how the 'experts' make pancakes.
JB, since you've not specified if the failure of your pancakes lies in the recipe or equipment I enquired as to both:
Recipe. Taryn cooks pancakes in bulk to have leftovers because she has a 19 year old son and an Army husband, but it's designed to be scaled up or down as required:
3 x cups self raising flour
3 x tablespoons sugar
approx 75g of melted butter
3 x cups of milk (this is a estimate. She eyeballs the milk and adds until the batter's consistency meets her requirements for fluffy American style pancakes. If you want thinner crepe style pancakes add more milk).
Equipment:
Apparently what you need is one of these bad boys:
https://www.sunbeam.com.au/kitchen-and-home/cooking/sandwich-presses-and-grills/diamondforce-reversagrill-bbq-grill
The flat plate is ideal for cooking multiple pancakes at a time, and then you can flip it over to the ribbed side to do your bacon and other bits to go with your pancakes. Apparently a game changer in the BFF household pancake manufacture process.
I have photographic evidence to back all this up 🤷♀️
Huh! Thanks for that: never occurred to me that eggless pancakes might be a thing, but apparently they are. The internet is full of them.
HUH! It wasn't until you mentioned eggs that I realised I'd not discussed them with Taryn. I have since re-confirmed and this recipe requires 2 eggs for the bigger batch. She also mentioned the sugar was optional.
She's one of those Jamie Oliver style cooks who just guesses or eyeballs things and says useful stuff like "take it out of the oven when it looks done". Which she said to me when I was learning her brownie recipe, and prompted an angst filled "HOW DO I KNOW WHEN IT LOOKS DONE???" from me and a blank look from her. I've since refined the brownie recipe to have actual baking times and measurements 🙄
JB, is your mistake trying to cook too many pancakes at once?
Where are the pancakes? I just see some skillets and some scraps of what looks like scrambled eggs? Hard to judge without seeing the actual flopjacks
When I learnt to make pancakes (my daughter is mad for them) I sought out the easiest to remember recipe and it has never lead me astray.
1 cup of flour
1 egg
1 cup of milk
1-1-1 - even I can remember it and I haven't made the damn things in ages!
I was taught pancakes on "pancake Sundays" at the share house, by Mr Flinthart, lo those many years ago (so that he no longer had to). Important to be able to scale the quantity to suit the need. Consequently, my recipe is a (little) bit more complicated:
One egg per punter
Exactly the same volume of milk (guessed by eye)
Flour (self raising, or the equivalent of plain and baking powder)
The flour is added backwards (dry to wet) and whisked gently to mix it in, and more added until the consistency is correct: thick cream. Add milk if you go too far/stiff. You get extra points for using fancy flour, like buckwheat: it's delicious.
Sometimes it can be nice to add either or both of a bit of vanilla and/or sugar to the wet, but sugar increases the risk of burning. After all: you're going to be adding bacon and maple syrup, right? Cook in butter, not too hot. Flip when the bubbles open.
The consistency determines the thickness in the pan, which determines thickness of the result. The pancake pour shouldn't fill the base of the pan to the edges, it should stop expanding of its own accord as it starts cooking.
I imagine that others will consider elements of that blasphemy or anathema, but such is the world of recipes.
Flinthart is a renowned master of the pans - which is why there are about 300 points of failure in that recipe for me.