Jan 13Liked by John Birmingham

The Dice Man by Luke Rhinehart nee George Cockcroft, always worked for me, we don't have enough whimsical serendipity in our life nowadays. As the old Welsh bard, Taffy Davis said, "what is this life if full of care, we have no time to comb our hair." My apologies to Taffy for that one, but I rolled the dice and that's what it told me to say. Do's and Don'ts, give you an out clause because the decision is up to you, and like me infallible is hard baked in the Frontal Lobe.

Mesmerism is another tried and true method, after a trip to see Dr Gonzo, as soon as you wake up in the morning, you feel an overwhelming compunction to put pen to paper. It works even better if you move your bed up into the garret, many a fine scribe will attest to attical inspiration.

If you want to nail something on the wall, I use a print out of my bank statement, with the amount of my overdraft highlighted in dayglow texter. It may be brutal psychology, but desperate times require such draconian measures. Pecuniary Pauperism focuses the the inspiration of the little grey cells like a well honed pencil.

When my Normal Lindsayesque muse discovers my bank balance limit is below zero, and falling, mumblings about returning to her matriarcal mater, who I suspect was born of demon seed, is enough to need the pencil resharpening after every cup of Arabica.

If all these esoteric methods fail, technology may be your saviour, chatGPT, a concept that the great Stephen Hawkings prescienciently predicted the end of humankind, and Tim Tams, seems to be able to knock up an Oxford quality doctorate, good enough to fool any Don.

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Jan 12Liked by John Birmingham

Where's the step where you agree to do the project anyway?

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working in a finance capacity the sight of flowcharts always send me into a murderous rage. In fact i have an image pinned on my cubicle wall that i stole off the internet titled "Projects that finish on time" and its a 'kids' drawing of a unicorn under a rainbow, and its farting out the word magic

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As running a Project Management Office in a past life, I can relate to this flowchart. Extra points for getting the shapes right.

Its up there with Time (I want it fast), Quality (I want it good) and Money (I want it cheap).

Pick any two.

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I saw this on the twits and felt both seen and attacked 😂

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You can:

1. Have it done well;

2. Have it done quickly; or

3. Have it done cheaply.

Pick two.

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If Sun Tzu had a white collar

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