Scientists have uncovered a new threat to humanity emerging in the area surrounding the former Fukushima nuclear power plant: indestructible radioactive hybrid terror pigs.
The details emerged from studies of how radiation from the partial nuclear meltdown at the plant in 2011 had affected local wildlife, which has in many cases "rewilded" urban areas vacated years ago by populations forced to move out by the threat of radiation following the disaster.
The future of the Fukushima terror pigs is hard to predict. If they had the intelligence to team up and combine into one unstoppable force, an indestructible boar army of that nature would surely be able to overrun the rest of the Japanese archipelago and, The Reg fears, possibly the whole world.
Unfortunately for the boar, although they naturally live in matriarchal groups called sounders, their natural aggression and territorial nature mean that it would be very much out of character for the Fukushima boar to combine into one huge, terrifying unit, whether for the purposes of destroying human civilisation or any other reason.
Nature has shown us the way, Alan. But sadly she did not deliver. You know what you must do.
I've always been a bit disappointed that there was no Godzilla-level mutation arising from Chernobyl. All of their re-wilded creatures seem to be of the cuddly variety. No stories of mutant nuclear bears or wolverines that I've heard.
Gone from that to reading about boars in Tuscany feasting on 20K worth of Columbian Marching Powder. Unfortunately there was no information on how the pigs faired.
I must check to see if Russell Braddon's 'The Year of the Angry Rabbit' is still in print. If not, it should be. Turns out it was a prescient parable for our current pandemic times. And yes, I still have my copy.
I've always been a bit disappointed that there was no Godzilla-level mutation arising from Chernobyl. All of their re-wilded creatures seem to be of the cuddly variety. No stories of mutant nuclear bears or wolverines that I've heard.
I, for one, welcome our new radioactive porcine overlords (it had to be said!)
Gone from that to reading about boars in Tuscany feasting on 20K worth of Columbian Marching Powder. Unfortunately there was no information on how the pigs faired.
Thanks JB.
We just need to find the right Paladins for Boartron
I must check to see if Russell Braddon's 'The Year of the Angry Rabbit' is still in print. If not, it should be. Turns out it was a prescient parable for our current pandemic times. And yes, I still have my copy.
Interesting that no-one has brought up the radioactive zombie drop bears in Maralinga ...
The Register always does great headline.