I haven’t seen either Barbie or Opie yet, partly because I decided to eat some very dodgy ham and have spent the last few days hovering over or near the porcelain throne.
Is it a good idea to smoosh two violently different films into a single five-hour marathon? Both Barbie and Oppenheimer came out this week, and I spent an afternoon doing exactly that. The question is, will Barbenheimer save all of cinema as we know it?
In a word: no. In slightly more words: Jesus Christ no, absolutely not, what a terrible, terrible idea this is. Reader, do not attempt Barbenheimer. Or at least, if you do decide to do Barbenheimer, please don’t do it in the order I went to see it. If you take anything from this, it’s that you should really go and see Barbie first. Because otherwise, and I’m talking from very recent first-hand experience, the effect is a little like having your mother’s funeral invaded by a flashmob of parking circus clowns. Which, you know, isn’t exactly ideal.
Also someone cleverer than me on the social media observed
"did you watch Oppenheimer, the film about the moral implications of the things we create, starring an actor who also played a Gotham City psychiatrist who went insane.
or
did you watch Barbie, the film about the moral implications of the things we create, starring an actor who also played a Gotham City psychiatrist who went insane."
That's one of the all time best homage pictures I've ever seen. I can't unsee it. I can't focus at all on the dodgy ham, which should be the important part of this story.
"because I decided to eat some very dodgy ham".... so can take the man out of the uni student but you can't take the uni student out of the man. Stuart Heritage you aren't the boss of me. Now I want to Barbenheimer and do it in the order he says not to.
Way back in 2002 I did an unofficial double-bill in the cinemas with 28 Days Later and Undead (the first feature film of the Spierig brothers). Both are horror films with similar monsters, but while 28 Days Later is terrifyingly scary, Undead is bloody hilarious.
I've always thought that Mars Attacks! and Independence Day would make a good double as well.
But as much as I want to see Oppenheimer and Barbie as well, I don't think I'll be doing a back-to-back cinema viewing for them.
My sisters weren't allowed Barbies, they were too American. So they had Cindy dolls instead. We did have full on fear of nuclear annihilation shoved down our throats by my slightly insane mother complete with giving us copies of when the wind blows and allowed to watch Threads at 12. So I might not connect well with either movie and wait for season 4 of the Boys.
Ugh . A Barbie movie that’s not for kids but is supposed to make some sort of social message about blah blah blah. Give me the fuckin ham . Make mine a double
I thought the ham was just a little wet with condensation from the fridge. Turns out that was probably, er, slime. Nevertheless!
Also someone cleverer than me on the social media observed
"did you watch Oppenheimer, the film about the moral implications of the things we create, starring an actor who also played a Gotham City psychiatrist who went insane.
or
did you watch Barbie, the film about the moral implications of the things we create, starring an actor who also played a Gotham City psychiatrist who went insane."
That's one of the all time best homage pictures I've ever seen. I can't unsee it. I can't focus at all on the dodgy ham, which should be the important part of this story.
JB you should have followed your kids' example as outlined previously - free spendy ham!
"because I decided to eat some very dodgy ham".... so can take the man out of the uni student but you can't take the uni student out of the man. Stuart Heritage you aren't the boss of me. Now I want to Barbenheimer and do it in the order he says not to.
Way back in 2002 I did an unofficial double-bill in the cinemas with 28 Days Later and Undead (the first feature film of the Spierig brothers). Both are horror films with similar monsters, but while 28 Days Later is terrifyingly scary, Undead is bloody hilarious.
I've always thought that Mars Attacks! and Independence Day would make a good double as well.
But as much as I want to see Oppenheimer and Barbie as well, I don't think I'll be doing a back-to-back cinema viewing for them.
My sisters weren't allowed Barbies, they were too American. So they had Cindy dolls instead. We did have full on fear of nuclear annihilation shoved down our throats by my slightly insane mother complete with giving us copies of when the wind blows and allowed to watch Threads at 12. So I might not connect well with either movie and wait for season 4 of the Boys.
Ugh . A Barbie movie that’s not for kids but is supposed to make some sort of social message about blah blah blah. Give me the fuckin ham . Make mine a double