I flew down last Thursday to do some stuff and got back yesterday on an early flight. I was dreading the 4.30 a.m. wake-up, but to be honest, I normally wake up then anyway, dragged into consciousness by my increasingly irritable bladder. So it wasn’t that big a deal. It turns out that travelling early on a Sunday morning is a helluva lot less frantic than going later in the day. I even got an empty seat next to me.
(Amusingly, Qantas had earlier tried to sell me the right to keep that seat free because they couldn’t sell it. I got an email about 24 hours before the flight offering me the opportunity to purchase some elbow room because the flight wasn’t full. I took a bet on the seat remaining unsold and got my elbow room for free.)
The only other notable moment was the woman who got the aisle seat on the other side of the empty spot. I assume she also declined to pay for the seat she wasn’t using because this bitch was a boss. She was reading the in-flight magazine during the safety demo. No biggie. But when she saw something she liked, and she just ripped the entire page out as the host was looking at her. I was like, did I just see that happen? I’m pretty sure I did because she did it again a few minutes later with zero fucks given.
Once we got airborne, she pulled out a shiny new book, obviously purchased at the airport, and started to dog-ear and margin-note that sucker with extreme prejudice. The book was some sort of self-actualisation guide, but I really don’t think she needed the help.
Other than that it was nice to see Melbourne getting its groove back after some pretty tough times. There’s still plenty of empty space in the city, but the crowds were back, which was not the case the last time I was there.
I had some good feeds, checked out a jazz club on Saturday night, and took a tram over to St Kilda to do a little research for the 30th Anniversary edition of Felafel, which is coming soon. (Yeah, sorry, you’re very old now). St Kilda was a bit dire. Looks like it took multiple heavy hits during Covid. But otherwise the city felt like it was coming back to life.
After your kitchen fire incident (Kitchen Fire Incident could be a title to rival Tasmania Babes Fiasco) I had a dream that you actually did an update chapter for an anniversary edition. Which is probably what happens when you scroll the internet and eat before bed...
When you first referred to your row mate as a "boss bitch" i was a bit "oooh steady on JB" but no, she was 100% a boss bitch. Who rips up an in flight magazine when you can just take photos of the pages that catch your eye? WHILE THE CABIN CREW IS PRESENTING THE SAFETY DEMO? She didn't so much have zero fucks to give as she was a fucks to give black hole, fucks cannot escape her gravitational pull in order to be given. I stan.
After your kitchen fire incident (Kitchen Fire Incident could be a title to rival Tasmania Babes Fiasco) I had a dream that you actually did an update chapter for an anniversary edition. Which is probably what happens when you scroll the internet and eat before bed...
Eat deets? Thanks for the laugh "sort of self-actualisation guide, but I really don’t think she needed the help". Maybe she was critiquing it?
I'll post eat deets separately
When you first referred to your row mate as a "boss bitch" i was a bit "oooh steady on JB" but no, she was 100% a boss bitch. Who rips up an in flight magazine when you can just take photos of the pages that catch your eye? WHILE THE CABIN CREW IS PRESENTING THE SAFETY DEMO? She didn't so much have zero fucks to give as she was a fucks to give black hole, fucks cannot escape her gravitational pull in order to be given. I stan.
i like to think she did it real slow while holding eye contact with the crew lol
YES. This is canon. This is part of what makes her a boss bitch, rather than a run of the mill bitch.
and Melbourne was all the better for the visit.