17 Comments

"self cleaning ovens and it apparently decided to clean itself at 500°C " ...this is how the uprising begins.

Expand full comment

Forgive me if I'm stepping out of line a bit here, but wouldn't the blanky be more effective if it was unfurled?

Expand full comment
author

Whoa. Steady on, Speedy Gonzales. Everything in good time.

Expand full comment

the biggest loss here is not dignity but the crackling lol

Expand full comment

JB, in your future, I foresee your receipt of many remarks like “This time, try not to burn the house down” or “Should I ring the firefighters before I go?”.

I have a feeling this event will give your wife considerable satisfaction.

Expand full comment

What happens in Bachelor Week, stays in Bachelor Week

Expand full comment

Hard to explain away the need for a new very expensive oven...

Expand full comment
author

I am a professional. I will come up with something

Expand full comment

Could be worse. Ask my brother re: cooking french fries ~1980. Burned the house down.

Expand full comment

That seems a bit of an extreme way to ensure Indian for dinner

Expand full comment

Arright arright arright. Imma call some kinda BS here. We've got one of those self cleaning 500c ovens and it doesn't just turn itself on. Ya gotta hit the switch. I mean ours isn't one of those fancy gagganau or Miele ovens that you rich writer types have. But are you sure you wanna stick to this story?

Expand full comment
author

Sir, I paid $20000 dollars for this Gaggenau oven. Firstly I would prefer you pronounce Gaggenau properly, with the guttural hawking note of a kilogram of thick Danish phlegm bubbling merrily at the back of your throat. Secondly are you implying that my very, very expensive Gaggenau is incapable of deciding whether it wants to kill ms or not? Well? Are you?!?

Expand full comment

OMGWTF? Holy shit JB, that was a close call. Indian takeaway FTW though.

Also "fire blanky" is now canon. I don't make the rules.

Expand full comment

Challenge for John to slip that into his next book somewhere.

Expand full comment

I had no idea Australia was such a dangerous place. Skin cancer, raging respiratory ailments and now killer appliances.

You people need to be careful.

Expand full comment

And that's before we start listing all the fauna that will kill you. Ask Jason about all the drop bears, murder roos and carnivorous possums he and his daughter were dodging the entire time they were visiting JB!

Expand full comment

The drop bears are real. Don't believe the naysayers on this subject.

Expand full comment