The Happy 4th reminds me that a long time ago in a reality far, far away I traveled to New York for a book tour and ate the most expensive hamburger in the world. It was full of wagyu, truffles and foie gras, just like George Washington ate, and it set me back about $250. Real dollars, too. Not Pacific pesos.
I seem to recall it being head-spinningly rich. Sickeningly over the top. But I wrote it up for someone and submitted my expenses and invoice so I also recall it with some satisfaction as one of those life moments I was lucky to have.
I hope it’s not a harbinger of American decline that this piece in GQ confirms the world’s most ridiculously expensive burger is no longer found in New York, but rather in Holland. The $8000 Golden Boy from a Dutch restaurant called De Daltons. (I’m pretty sure it’s Dirk’s local greasy spoon).
The saffron-infused gold-leaf plated buns hold together a spendy stack of super premium wagyu beef and slow coked short rib, white truffles, Beluga caviar, Iberico ham, king crab, and onion rings made with Dom Pérignon champagne batter. The barbecue sauce is a jus of single malt whisky and that insanely expensive coffee they get from Kopi Lewak beans pooped out by near extinct jungle cats.
Don’t tell me Late Stage Capitalism doesn’t know how to go out with style.
Because the magazine industry has pretty much curled up and died since I had that billionaire slider in Manhattan, I doubt I’ll be sampling the Golden Boy. But we do have our man on the spot in Dirk, and I’m sure we can prevail upon him to pop into De Daltons and give it a spin for us.
I’ll await his review in the comments section.
Re: the Kopi Lewak beans and civets: I don't think that they're near-extinct any more. Just not wild, and not happy. Imagine a caged foi gras installation full of unhappy jungle cats. *that's* what late-stage capitalism can do for us. (The cats are no-doubt competing for space with palm plantations, these days. I haven't checked.)
Why the Golden Boy is just an appetizer? <b>https://www.de-daltons.com/guilty-pleasures/the-golden-boy/ </b>
Observing the enthusiasm on something mundain like a goldleaved burger fills me with deep and profound sadness. A 5000 euro burger, build and bred in the middle of the Dutch biblebelt, where incest is the hobby of choice and where you can see the devastating effect of 2000 years of inbreeding, is heart-breaking.
Especially when a 5000 euro burger isn’t the most expensive one you can have over here.
Behold the 250,000 euro cultured meat burger. <b>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultured_meat</b> Okay, you have to drop the gold leaf (on a side note: gold is administered as medication to sufferers of rheumatoid arthritis ) and forget about the Dom Pérignon based bun, but this MoFo is 50 times more expensive – and better for you and the planet.
Will I be tasting one? The answer is already taken for me by the condition of my godly carcass. Since I have had a heart attack last February, taking risks with this specimen of perfection is sadly of the menu. It’s a simple choice: or you will have a good backstory and a modicum of production speed in WW 3.1 (yes JB where is the next chapter???) or have a 30 second thrill of seeing me succumb to the Golden Boy. For the glory of mankind I will take option 1 (and send JB the accompanying invoice).
Love hamburgers, but there are, dare I say, better things to put between two pieces of bread. On a trip to the UK not too many years ago, I came across a pub in Oxford that promised hot Brie and bacon sandwiches...I tell you, I had two...along with a couple of pints...so this burger...looks okay, but no.
PS De Daltons (which is a reference to the Dalton Brothers of Lucky Luke fame) ain't my favorite greasy spoon. Mine is a lot more obscure joint over here called Snackbar De Hoven. A pinnacle of Dutch snack culture, it is famed for it's satay sauce and the inclusion of a slice of boiled egg on their frikandel speciaal. Runner up is Febo with their cutting edge sales windows; underlining the fact that everything naughty and satisfying over here is located behind a window ;-) .
Still can't even serve it on a proper fucking plate though.
At the risk of sounding like a party pooper, that just looks almost inedibly rich. Like who could finish it without wanting to throw up?