More nowhere men.
I forgot when I posted that bit about the Japanese guy you can hire to do nothing that I had this other link in my drafts fold to a column I quite liked at The Graun. It really leans into the pointlessness of pretending to enjoy work in the dying moments of late-stage capitalism. (That’s a whole vertical at The Graun).
There is something pleasing about the story of the Italian teacher Cinzia Paolina De Lio, who was recently dismissed for being off work, in one way or another, for 20 years during her 24-year period of employment. De Lio is appealing, but probably didn’t do herself any favours by reportedly telling local media: “Sorry, but right now I’m at the beach.”
She joins the ranks of anti-work heroes, including the Spanish “phantom functionary” who was claimed to have pulled a six-year sickie or the Italian hospital worker who reportedly skipped work entirely for 15 years.
It reminded me of the story Brian Toohey, the legendary investigative journalist, told me about travelling to the US as part of a media pack on a prime ministerial tour.
He met some Fairfax guy at a reception. The dude looked very shifty, and Brian had never actually heard of him. This guy had been sent to the US years before and… forgotten.
He hadn’t filed copy or called into the home office for nearly a decade.
I can’t recall why he’d shown his face at this function, but he was desperate that Toohey not mention to the bosses back in Sydney that he was even alive.
I sometimes wonder if he’s still there.
I say this as someone who is privileged enough to actually enjoy my job and work, but the people arguing that I'd get bored if I stopped working severely underestimate my ability to amuse myself and pass the day.
Mind you, Mr Birmingham and Mr Lambright would have to greatly increase their output to keep up with my increased consumption of the written word if my leisure hours were to expand. But at least I might finish Netflix 😂
I would love nothing more than to do nothing. To potter around, read, play games and so on. You'd get bored, say people. Get fucked, I say back.
I want to enjoy time now, because the climate apocolypse is coming and my twilight years are going to be spent scrabbling for survival in a world where only the megawealthy can afford food and so on.
This whole working for a living thing? That we have to earn our way to basic fucking necessities? I want to feed cunts into the woodchipper that think this is how it's meant to be now. We have all this technology, all this power and we force people to do things they hate so they can afford a roof and food and running water. We are doing it all wrong.