I was wrong about the end of the world.
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Turns out I don’t know my apocalypse from my armageddon. I totally thought it would all be about flesh-eating demons spilling out of the UnderRealms, or mysterious waves of alien energy consuming the souls of everyone in America. Or even a simple cyberattack gone horribly wrong. I always imagined epic, civilisational collapse would come with dragons in the sky and armies on the march.
But, nah. Not so much.
Turns out it was all about toilet paper.
If the last year or so has taught us anything, it’s that the first thing to go are rolls of super soft three-ply moon squares. (The second is self-raising flour).
ZERO DAY CODE, which has been exclusive to Audible the last eighteen months, was written before the dread Ms Rona sashayed into our lives, and consequently it has one major flaw. I’m pretty sure I got almost everything else right, including the doctrine, strategy and tactics of China cyber warfare specialists - Unit 69318 of the PLA.
But I was wrong wrong wrong about the critical role of toilet paper shortages in the collapse of western civilisation.
I do apologise. I’ll try to make up for it at the end of the series. Promise.
I hope you’ll consider picking up a copy of Zero Day Code anyway, because it is finally out in ebook form, and I’ve got it quietly discounted this week, just for you, my favourites.
Lots of you listened to the adventures of James and Rick and Jodie and Damo and you tickled the algorithm with heaps of five star reviews.
Thanks.
But plenty of folks prefer words on a page or a screen.
So this week you got it, at half price, because a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away you signed up for this newsletter, which I almost never send.
If you’re a Kindle reader, and you’re so inclined go grab your discount apocalypse at Amazon. Or read it for free, if you have Kindle Unlimited.
All the other versions are coming soon, but for now the quickest and easiest way for me to get the words out there is through the Beast of Bezos.
A modern city can feed itself for nine days. No more. And when the panic starts…
A massive Chinese cyberattack targets the transport and food distribution systems of the West and unwittingly brings on the end of the world. Cities starve. Continents go dark. And a desperate America launches a devastating counterstrike.
In this apocalyptic thriller, the arrogance of a few powerful men pushes the whole world to brink of destruction - and over.
Follow a handful of survivors from the first day of our civilisation’s fall into a violent, uncertain future.
Omigod I do love me some violent, uncertain futures. Or at least I love writing and reading about them. Who’d-a thunk that actually living in them would suck so much?
Those links above are universal. They’ll take you to your nearest store. But if you prefer the old fashioned way, here are a couple of bespoke, hand-tooled links I prepared earlier.
And for those who’ve been wondering when this never-ending apocalypse would end (see what I did there), the final volume, American Kill Switch, drops on March 2.
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Morning John,
I just picked up the comic book version of Felafel, as drawn by Ryan Vella. I'm going to arrange for Ryan to sign it, how does one go about getting you to sign it as well? It's a very, very unique little item indeed.
Cheers!
Danny
Hey Birmo...I just finished reading Zero Day Code. Another great apocalyptic armaggedon-style book. Love how you always find ways to end the world. You have a true talent there! Question, if you take them: Have you spent time in the Seattle area? I ask since in two of your books, you set a lot of action in Western Washington State. I was rather shocked to see you mention places very near to where I live and work (Sumner and Algona, WA). Shocked, I was! Your description of Algona was pretty spot on, I must say. Also, please let your next book come out as an ebook first. I'd rather not wait to read the next one. Again, thank you for another inventive way to kill off humanity. Someone has to do it, right?