I think I may have found the perfect product for the laziest reader ever.

It’s a remote control that turns your Kindle pages for you. Just in case you were too tired after lying around in bed, eating chocolates all day to move your thumb a couple of inches.

It’s the Syukuyu RF Remote Control Page Turner!

And for some reason, it was in my notes from the first week of our trip to Europe last year. Maybe I was thinking of picking one up.

The article that recommended it was lethargically enthused:

Picture this: Your Kindle is hovering just where you want it, you’re wrapped up in a blanket, and you don’t have to move a muscle to turn a page. You don’t have to let the cold air into your cocoon. While you remain swaddled like a baby, your Kindle remains motionless in its gooseneck home, unjarred by your constant swiping.

I was all ready to scoff and sneer, until I remembered that the reason I hadn’t upgraded to the Kindle Scribe was that it didn’t have physical page turn buttons, and I would have to reach out and mash the screen like a fucking animal.

So, I dunno.

Maybe I should think about this.