Guide to the Eclipse

Yes, I’m late to the Eclipseapalooza, but this Guide to the Eclipse was too good not to steal (from Medway on Facebook) in the unnatural End of Days darkness. The one about ‘When your double arrives’, sounds like a great idea for a book.

The people of Tennessee may have the best view but will also be the first to be sacrificed.

Animals may behave strangely. If your dog speaks like a man, heed its dire warning.

Don't trust the squirrel with the child's face. It speaks only lies.

When your double arrives, resist the inclination to fight it. It may be stronger than you. Chances are it will disappear after the eclipse. Be careful it doesn't switch places, it will be a few decades before you get the chance to come back.

If you stare into the void, and it blinks first, you win. But the prize is insanity.

Werewolves are not only impossible to kill during an eclipse, they become SUPER WEREWOLVES.

Whatever you do don't buy any weird plants, we don't want a repeat of last time.

Apophis, the Moon Serpent, may try to eat you. Let him.

If once upon a time you were falling in love, but now you're only falling apart, there's nothing you can do. This a different type of eclipse.