17 Comments
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Elana Mitchell's avatar

At least the cats are innocent of storing the bodies of their murder victims in your office for once. Last night my 6kg cat and I watched in amazement as my 3kg cat ducked out the balcony door and then came in again with a mouse to play with.

Had a great chase around my upstairs hallway and into the bathroom to re-capture the poor little bugger and set him free without the chaos demon getting hold of him again 🙄

insomniac's avatar

Is he going to chainsaw down through your new roof, or up through your new ceiling? Did the possum sneak in while there was a giant fucking hole in your house?

John Birmingham's avatar

I think the possum went exploring the crawlspaces and, well, you know.

Ross Cameron's avatar

Oof, they’re never pleasant. I remember dad having to dig out a half rotten possum carcass. Their old place had a down pipe that went under the drive and came out just the other side a few metres away from the house. His office window was next to that down pipe. The possum had crawled down the pipe and got stuck half way under the drive. He needed a jackhammer and a bucket.

Re deadlines, I’m sure there’s a way to combine Douglas Adam’s famous quote with hail. Maybe something like “I hate deadlines - they’re like hail. I hate the smashing sound they make above my head when they arrive.”

Mark's avatar

Maybe the roof chaos closed some previous exit and doomed the little bastard to Injun Joe's death in Tom Sawyer?

John Birmingham's avatar

It’s possible, but given the location, not likely. it is however very, very likely that all of the roof work freaked the little bastard out, and he went looking for a hiding spot and got himself trapped in there

Potato Shaped Man's avatar

All that mopping wasted.

Like tears in the rain.

Michael Barnes's avatar

"coming with a chainsaw" HOW BIG IS THAT F*ing POSSUM?

Richard's avatar

My thoughts exactly

Mark's avatar

As long as it STAYS dead. JB doesn't need the hassle of Undead possums skirmishing forth to wage an escalating war of terror against suburban Brisbane...

Jason's avatar

This is the best plot for a movie I have heard in ages.

Ross Cameron's avatar

World War P - The Mutation

The military is chasing down the last of the Zombies from World War Z in SEQ, Aus. Just as the last fleeing Zombie gets taken out, it accidentally infects a possum.

Over winter the Zombie possum virus spreads through outer suburban roofs, and in doing so the virus mutates. Next spring brings the apocalyptic attack of the possum zombies to humans.

World War K would be when the virus jumps species again to Koalas, bring to life the much feared zombie drop bear…. At this point the movie series might also jump the shark.

The possibilities are endless…

😜

Jason's avatar

In Melbourne they have already started taking out the power grid. This writes itself.

Dave W's avatar

But how did you not know that there was an alive possum in your roof?

John Birmingham's avatar

Dude, I live in Brisbane. There are always possums in the roof. I have moved along more than 20 of them so far they were all quickly replaced.

Currently known as Simon's avatar

I can empathise. Kind of. Last week my wife kept complaining about a smell that was getting worse outside our bedroom. Sadly I am unable to smell anything at the moment due to a chronic sinus infection so I did go have a look. I have a tinny parked outside with a cover, and on removing the cover even I could smell something. A beautiful carpet snake went in and strangled itself in a crab pot and landing net. Well and truly dead. The crab pot, landing net and carpet were all burned on a largish bonfire.

Tweeky's avatar

A dead possum? given that this is Australia I'm not surprised at all. In regards to the deadline Birmo, do you have a new provisional publication date for WW3.3?