Can't bear it.
With everything going on in the world, it says something about me that this was the story (free link) that most engorged my rage gland today.
It was shortly after 2 a.m. on March 2, the police said, when two members of the British Royal Air Force approached a statue of Paddington Bear, sitting placidly on a park bench in Newbury, England, and holding his favorite snack: a sandwich dripping with marmalade.
The men then kicked, broke apart and stole Paddington, leaving a husk of the bear still affixed to the park bench. But it turns out that they had picked the wrong bear to mess with, in the wrong place.
This pair of drunken fucking idiots murdered Paddington on CCTV, then carried his remains back to base in a fucking cab. PC Plod turned up presently and put the arm on them.
No word in the Times about whether they’ve been drummed out of the service. I kind of hope not, because I suspect the punishments available on base far exceed anything the civilian courts could hand down. I dunno what the RAF equivalent of a Sergeant-Major is, but I like to imagine he’d be secretly fond of the little bear and keen to extract a full measure of justice for this outrage.
My favourite Paddington fact is Vlodomir Zelenskyy voiced him for the Ukrainian version of the Paddington movies. So Paddington is now the leader of the resistance in my head canon 🫡
Considering Paddington is 67yrs old he probably tried to raise the rent on his multiple investment properties where these young lads mums lived. They were just exacting revenge because Paddington said that anybody could own multiple properties as long as they put in the hard work. Why look at Paddington, just a poor bear from Peru with nothing in his possession but an old hat and a battered suitcase and all he had to do was save on buying a few marmalade sandwiches, and gave them a hard stare for not trying hard enough.